~Trapped in Freedom~

 

 

Too much.. There’s just too much to talk about…

Too much thoughts, distractions, interventions.

My head is running wild, wild again. Or is it just trying to break free? But if it’s just freedom of the mind, how can this freedom feel so heavy? How can this Freedom make me feel like I’m drowning in this earth, the same earth that I’m standing on? Yes, I said I can fly, but I also said I have anchors… Anchors, to bring me back down when I get too high. I thought I was using them to control my high, but now, it just seems like, I can’t control my anchors anymore. They are bringing me down, but not in a bad way, because nothing can bring me down in that way. Maybe they are just leading me to some hidden treasure, deep down. I may not see it now, but I can hear the call, the call of Freedom, the freedom of my own mind. Or maybe not? What if I’m getting too high? What if I lost my limits? It’s just too much. Too much to think about, too much to bear.

So, writing, was the easiest way. Even though we don’t always write about what we’re feeling, even though we don’t only write about our problems… Sometimes, we like to just set our minds free, let our imagination flow, like a flood of water, with some stars shining upon it, and a little bit of madness to float on its surface. Not to forget, the depth of this ocean, this never-ending ocean. It starts with a quiet state, a little too quiet, to being a little terrifying, then an enormous headache, a fight of words, a war of letters, then you just start exploding…

 

But wait…

What if… what if this is not my freedom?

What if I’m trapped inside my own mind?

Well, I think, even if it is, I don’t want to break free, I want to stay trapped inside my own mind. Because no one can understand this mad animal. And sometimes, not even me.

What if this is too much Freedom?

What if this is too much Imprisonment?

This is what could kill me…

Or what could actually revive me.

It’s the work of “too much”

Just a little too much…